Rise above

Rise Above

By: Karen Banks, M.Ed., PLPC

Owner/Therapist - Trinity Wellness, LLC

@TrinityWellSTL

Image from quotesvalley.com

This is an excerpt from an article I originally published in SpokenVizions Youth magazine.  For the full article, please subscribe!

Throughout our daily lives, we are often surrounded by media, especially music.  What influence does music have on you?  Does it inspire, either positively or otherwise, you to create beautiful poetry?  If a vast majority of popular music is misogynistic, hateful, celebrating drug use and careless sex, and encouraging killing each other, what influence does that have on your psyche and thus your creativity?

Think about these few words, subscribe and read the entire article, then write a comment and let's chat about your thoughts. I would love to hear from you!  If for some reason you cannot access the article, after an extended period of time, I will return to post the article in its entirety.

Karen

Inspiring creativity

Inspiring Your Creativity

By: Karen Banks, M.Ed., PLPC

Image credit: http://www.everythingetsy.com/2013/08/creative-workspace-inspiration-2/

This is an excerpt from an article I originally published in SpokenVizions Magazine.  For the full article, please subscribe!

Many an article has been written about ways to help with writer's block.  My goal here is to give you some concise information that will help you find your creativity at any time.  As a born procrastinator, I am often looking for ways to help me start writing and these tips help me weekly!

Physical space as an inspiration

Clutter

There are two camps in the clutter debate.  One says that clutter can be an unhealthy distraction.  If your desk looks like a bomb exploded, invest time to clean and organize so writing instruments and notebooks are within reach.  The opposing side (as stated in an article published by the American Psychological Association in fact) has a few studies to the contrary: "working in a messy room seems to help them try new things and come up with creative ideas". 

Mental considerations

Sounds

Like color, music and sound play an important role in our mood and creativity.  Don't judge me, but my current favorite hype song is Turn Down for What.  When under pressure or feeling stuck, blasting rap music can be a great motivator to get down to business.   On the opposite end of the spectrum, a bit of smooth jazz or gospel can take you to a completely different, more peaceful place.  Keep Pandora or an iPod within reach to be able to adjust your tunes as necessary.  If sound or music is a distraction while you are being creative, noise cancelling headphones or white noise such as a ceiling fan, might be your recipe for success.

Other considerations

~ When you find yourself experiencing a creative block, stop working!  Take some time to do some quick exercises or an invigorating yoga sequence.  If you're anything like me, a nap will recharge your brain and possibly prepare you to get back to being creative.

I would love to hear from you if you found these tips helpful.  Tweet me @TrinityWellSTL or if you are feeling brave, post a picture of your workspace on Instagram #creativityhappenshere and tag me @Karen79ig and @spokenvizions.

Let's talk about sex!

This is an excerpt from an article I originally published in SpokenVizions Magazine.  For the full article, please subscribe!

Let's Talk About Sex!

By: Karen Banks, M.Ed., PLPC, Owner of Trinity Wellness, LLC

When I work with my adult clients, the topic of sex usually comes up after a few awkward attempts to approach the subject.  It is unfortunate that sex is sometimes a taboo topic because there are a variety of health benefits to getting your freak on.  Read on for 7 easy tips...then go and practice!

#1 - Sex makes you sleepy; sleep is essential for good health; therefore sex is essential for good health!

Sexual activity releases several chemicals, oxytocin and prolactin, which can help you get to sleep more quickly after a romp in the sheets.

#2 - The more sex you have, the more you'll want!

Having sex increases your libido so do it again, and again, and again, and...you get my point.

#3 - Sharing intimate time with your partner can improve your relationship and communication.

Don't forget to subscribe to read the full article.  Even better, call me or email me for a counseling session if SEX is what is troubling you.

Take care Readers,

Karen

What are your values?

What are your Values?

Karen Banks, M.Ed. PLPC

Full article published in Delux Magazine August/September 2014

Hello Readers!

Sorry for the hiatus but I am back and have lots to write about.  I have been writing for 3 magazines (Delux Magazine, SpokenVizions, and SpokenVizions Youth)which I strongly encourage all of you to subscribe to and enjoy.  I think you will find the information helpful.  I will be publishing parts of each article here on my blog.

If you are here from the link in Delux Magazine…welcome!  Here is a list of values to get you started on figuring out what is important to you. 

From the article:

A fun, albeit uncomfortable, exercise to determine your core values is to get a few sticky notes, 15-20 should work, and write one value one each.  It can be one word or anything that is important to you.  A piece of paper torn or cut into 20 pieces will work as well. 

Once you have your values laid out in front of you, take 10 and throw them away.  You can either look at them and make choices, or you can close your eyes and randomly select 10 to never see again.  Take a moment to stop and feel. Are you sad, angry, or maybe even relieved? Are you feeling anxious about losing something of value to you? Did you make the right choice?  Now take a look at your remaining 10 values and take 5 more away.  Did you lose your family or choose money over power? Is higher education really more important to you than family time?  Is your job balled up on the floor?  The remaining 5 values are your core values. 

Accountability Accuracy Achievement Adventurousness Altruism Ambition Assertiveness Balance Being the best Belonging Boldness Calmness Carefulness Challenge Cheerfulness Clear-mindedness Commitment Community Compassion Competitiveness Consistency Contentment Continuous Improvement Contribution Control Cooperation Correctness Courtesy Creativity Curiosity Decisiveness Democraticness Dependability Determination Devoutness Diligence Discipline Discretion Diversity Dynamism Economy Effectiveness Efficiency Elegance Empathy Enjoyment Enthusiasm Equality

Excellence Excitement Expertise Exploration Expressiveness Fairness Faith Family-orientedness Fidelity Fitness Fluency Focus Freedom Fun Generosity Goodness Grace Growth Happiness Hard Work Health Helping Society Holiness Honesty Honor Humility Independence Ingenuity Inner Harmony Inquisitiveness Insightfulness Intelligence Intellectual Status Intuition Joy Justice Leadership Legacy Love Loyalty Making a difference Mastery Merit Obedience Openness Order Originality Patriotism

Perfection Piety Positivity Practicality Preparedness Professionalism Prudence Quality-orientation Reliability Resourcefulness Restraint Results-oriented Rigor Security Self-actualization Self-control Selflessness Self-reliance Sensitivity Serenity Service Shrewdness Simplicity Soundness Speed Spontaneity Stability Strategic Strength Structure Success Support Teamwork Temperance Thankfulness Thoroughness Thoughtfulness Timeliness Tolerance Traditionalism Trustworthiness Truth-seeking Understanding Uniqueness Unity Usefulness Vision Vitality

List found on http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTED_85.htm

(For a much longer list of values, visit the following pages which I have always found helpful: http://www.stevepavlina.com/articles/list-of-values.htm or http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTED_85.htm or http://www.homelifesimplified.com.au/simplify-your-life-week-2-define-your-personal-values/ which is where the image is from)

Trading Habits

As I wrestle with learning to create new, healthier habits, I wanted to write to share my experiences and maybe gain some insight from my huge list of readers (crickets...).  It is still January (if I can post this in the next 45 minutes) and I know many of us are struggling with making our New Year's resolutions stick...like to blog twice monthly!  Tell me what has been working for you, or not working, in terms of accomplishing your resolutions thus far.

A habit is defined as "a fixed way of thinking, willing, or feeling" and "the process by which new behaviors become automatic is habit formation" and finally the most important point about habits "old habits are hard to break and new habits are hard to form because the behavioral patterns we repeat are imprinted in our neural pathways, but it is possible to form new habits through repetition".  Basically, we have made our habits semi-permanent.  This is kind of a scary thing...unless we focus on creating better habits.

I recently spent a bunch of time working with clients on SMART goals (specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, time-bound) as a way to make their New Year's resolutions more concrete.  They were given worksheets like the image below to help them break each goal down into steps.  Email me/comment for the simple form.

Some other steps to help break old habits and form better ones should include making sure you want to change.  If you are honest, do you really WANT to stop smoking or eating junk?  More importantly, are you READY to make the changes? Only make efforts to change the things that you desire to see changed.  If you can't be honest with yourself, how committed and successful will you become?

As any therapist will tell you, find out the reason for your bad habits.  Are you biting your nails or cursing out of nervousness or anxiety?  Once you can get an understanding of the cause of the problem, maybe you can fix it.

Remember to always include your support system on your goals.  They are here to help.  Are they still encouraging you to maintain those resolutions?  Good, then fill them in on your new and improved SMART goals and ask them to hold you accountable.

Finally, to achieve those goals, stay strong in the fight to change your habits and believe you can do better.  Believing in your success sometimes feels like half the battle.  For additional support, please contact me

What are your habits? Nail biting, smoking, risky sex, cursing, tardiness?  I encourage you to set your sights (and habits) on forming new habits like exercise, positive self-talk, better eating,or whatever it is you desire.  Good luck; I'm running this race right beside you.

Thanks to psychologytoday.com for some insight.

What Will You Create in 2014?

Happy New Year! I hope all of you have been blessed these first two days of 2014 and that it will only get better!

This new year, like many others, I began a daily affirmation type book. While this one is focused on financial freedom, there are so many books available that help us take baby steps; one day at a time. January is a great time to start one, hint hint.

In the introduction of The Wealthy Spirit, author Chellie Campbell says, " consciously or unconsciously, we create our lives. We create them out of our thoughts, attitudes, beliefs, and feelings, and the choices we make from them. Our life story is the sum total of our decisions".

This is a powerful statement. Did you know that YOU had so much power and control?! While I could (will) write a whole other blog on that, I wanted to make this a short one to simply encourage you to CREATE YOUR STORY. A new year is a new beginning and a chance for you to create your life story.  Over this year, let's learn to change our old, negative thoughts and attitudes into beautiful words of encouragement which foster positive self beliefs, so that the story we create becomes a happy, peaceful, successful one.

Wishing you many blessings for a successful 2014.

Don't forget to check out my regular columns in Delux Magazine (www.delux-mag.com) and SpokenVizions magazine (www.spokenvizions.com).

Life Coach v. Counselor and more

A recent Facebook post as well as questions from several clients recently prompted this blog post.  It has been a long time since I posted…although I have about 20 drafts saved.  I have been doing more than procrastinating; I’ve been busy writing articles for Delux Magazine (article 1 & article 2) and Spoken Vizions Magazine! Check them out when you have a moment.

Anyway…on to the topic. The short version of what could become a long rant about the differences between what a Life Coach does and what Counselors, Social Workers, Psychologists, etc. do is this:

Professionals Counselors offer services that are a better fit for the vast majority of people.

Life coaches are not qualified to address issues of one’s past or any ongoing mental health issues such as anxiety or depression, or working through issues such as trauma, divorce, social concerns, personal issues, or grief.  I believe most people are affected, in some way, by issues that require more skill than a Life Coach can provide.

Here is my brief summary of what each of these professionals generally do, which is based on education, experience, and the 2008 article posted in Counseling Today:

Life Coaches work with clients to set and reach their goals related to life and/or work.  They offer support and hold clients accountable.

Social Workers (though some have clinical training) are generally trained to connect people to services and address human services issues on personal and community levels.

Psychologists work with individuals who struggle with mental health concerns.  They are trained to test and diagnose patients.

Psychiatrists are physicians who work from a medical model.  They most often prescribe medications for clients suffering from depression and severe disorders such as schizophrenia.

Counselors view clients as “stuck” versus “sick”.  We help people find healing from issues in their past and to achieve their goals for living a healthy life.  We sometimes help connect people to services as well as offer career, marriage, and family counseling.

A great quote from the article sums it up: “Therapy is about uncovering and recovering, while coaching is about discovering.”  In my practice, I do both.  I want clients to come to my office and we work through their concerns and address what is keeping them from living up to their potential.  In addition, my clients leave with a plan.  I want them to be empowered to make the necessary changes they desire in their life.  Each week, we work on what is holding you back, and how we can reach your goals.  I want clients to be mentally (& socially), physically, and spiritually balanced and we work in all these areas.

I hope this “short version” helps clarify what each of these valuable professionals do.  Let me know your thoughts!

Bonus material beautifully summarized courtesy of Wikipedia: 

*****************************This is waaaaaay more info than most people need but…mental health professionals work from Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM).  The DSM-IV organizes each psychiatric diagnosis into five dimensions (axes) relating to different aspects of disorder or disability:

Axis I: All diagnostic categories except mental retardation and personality disorder. Examples: depression, anxiety disorders, bipolar disorder, ADHD, autism spectrum disorders, anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, and schizophrenia. Counselors, Clinical Social Workers, Psychologists, and Psychiatrists address these issues.

Axis II: Personality disorders and mental retardation. Examples: paranoid, schizoid, borderline, antisocial, narcissistic, histrionic, avoidant, dependent, obsessive-compulsive personality disorders; and intellectual disabilities. Psychologists and Psychiatrists primarily address these issues however many Counselors and CLINICAL Social Workers are also trained to work with clients with some axis II diagnoses.

Axis III: General medical condition; acute medical conditions and physical disorders. Physicians address these issues.

Axis IV: Psychosocial and environmental factors contributing to the disorder. Counselors and Social Workers address these issues. (You would be paying a fortune to talk to a Psychiatrist about these issues!)

Axis V: Global Assessment of Functioning or Children's Global Assessment Scale for children and teens under the age of 18.*****************************