Trading Habits

As I wrestle with learning to create new, healthier habits, I wanted to write to share my experiences and maybe gain some insight from my huge list of readers (crickets...).  It is still January (if I can post this in the next 45 minutes) and I know many of us are struggling with making our New Year's resolutions stick...like to blog twice monthly!  Tell me what has been working for you, or not working, in terms of accomplishing your resolutions thus far.

A habit is defined as "a fixed way of thinking, willing, or feeling" and "the process by which new behaviors become automatic is habit formation" and finally the most important point about habits "old habits are hard to break and new habits are hard to form because the behavioral patterns we repeat are imprinted in our neural pathways, but it is possible to form new habits through repetition".  Basically, we have made our habits semi-permanent.  This is kind of a scary thing...unless we focus on creating better habits.

I recently spent a bunch of time working with clients on SMART goals (specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, time-bound) as a way to make their New Year's resolutions more concrete.  They were given worksheets like the image below to help them break each goal down into steps.  Email me/comment for the simple form.

Some other steps to help break old habits and form better ones should include making sure you want to change.  If you are honest, do you really WANT to stop smoking or eating junk?  More importantly, are you READY to make the changes? Only make efforts to change the things that you desire to see changed.  If you can't be honest with yourself, how committed and successful will you become?

As any therapist will tell you, find out the reason for your bad habits.  Are you biting your nails or cursing out of nervousness or anxiety?  Once you can get an understanding of the cause of the problem, maybe you can fix it.

Remember to always include your support system on your goals.  They are here to help.  Are they still encouraging you to maintain those resolutions?  Good, then fill them in on your new and improved SMART goals and ask them to hold you accountable.

Finally, to achieve those goals, stay strong in the fight to change your habits and believe you can do better.  Believing in your success sometimes feels like half the battle.  For additional support, please contact me

What are your habits? Nail biting, smoking, risky sex, cursing, tardiness?  I encourage you to set your sights (and habits) on forming new habits like exercise, positive self-talk, better eating,or whatever it is you desire.  Good luck; I'm running this race right beside you.

Thanks to psychologytoday.com for some insight.

What Will You Create in 2014?

Happy New Year! I hope all of you have been blessed these first two days of 2014 and that it will only get better!

This new year, like many others, I began a daily affirmation type book. While this one is focused on financial freedom, there are so many books available that help us take baby steps; one day at a time. January is a great time to start one, hint hint.

In the introduction of The Wealthy Spirit, author Chellie Campbell says, " consciously or unconsciously, we create our lives. We create them out of our thoughts, attitudes, beliefs, and feelings, and the choices we make from them. Our life story is the sum total of our decisions".

This is a powerful statement. Did you know that YOU had so much power and control?! While I could (will) write a whole other blog on that, I wanted to make this a short one to simply encourage you to CREATE YOUR STORY. A new year is a new beginning and a chance for you to create your life story.  Over this year, let's learn to change our old, negative thoughts and attitudes into beautiful words of encouragement which foster positive self beliefs, so that the story we create becomes a happy, peaceful, successful one.

Wishing you many blessings for a successful 2014.

Don't forget to check out my regular columns in Delux Magazine (www.delux-mag.com) and SpokenVizions magazine (www.spokenvizions.com).

New Year's Resolutions...or not!

Today is January 10th, 2013.  Are you still on track for those resolutions you made less than 2 weeks ago?  If not, welcome to the club.  If you are, CONGRATULATIONS, but you will "fail" soon too. 

"Well OMG Karen, that's harsh!"  I know it is, but it's not our fault and there is some good news here.

To sum up a Psychology Today article, human beings (and our four-legged companions, too!) simply are not in complete control of our brains.  We are designed to fail.  And I hear you asking, "So if I can't control myself, then why even bother?"  We bother, and I encourage you to continue trying because you CAN succeed.  Our resolutions need to become HABIT; not just an annual thought.  Don't beat yourself up or stress out over "failed" efforts to keep your New Year's resolutions.  You have to keep trying in order for this new habit, to become the norm.

Every day is a new day, a fresh start.  (We survived the Mayan Apocalypse a month ago, we have to keep going right?!)  The more you try (and stay positive doing so), the greater your odds of success.  Furthermore, you never really start back at square one.  You are never the same person you were when you first started the journey to lose those 20 pounds, start eating better, or stop smoking.  You have learned something about yourself, you have improved, and you are a better person for not giving up.

Keep moving forward!  As far as I am concerned, today is a great day to CONTINUE, not start over, on your path to ___(insert your resolution here)_____.  A great way to increase your odds of success is to be held accountable.  Tell your friends, coworkers, and family your goals and ask them to help you.  If you see me eating unhealthy food or spending money, STOP ME!  Remind me that I can lose 30 pounds and I want a bigger house and you are here to support me.  I will do the same for you.  Feel free to leave your resolutions in the comments.

As always, I am here to support you on your journey.  Please feel free to contact me.  Visit www.trinitywellnessstl.com for more information.

Best of luck and Happy New Year!

Karen