What are your values?

What are your Values?

Karen Banks, M.Ed. PLPC

Full article published in Delux Magazine August/September 2014

Hello Readers!

Sorry for the hiatus but I am back and have lots to write about.  I have been writing for 3 magazines (Delux Magazine, SpokenVizions, and SpokenVizions Youth)which I strongly encourage all of you to subscribe to and enjoy.  I think you will find the information helpful.  I will be publishing parts of each article here on my blog.

If you are here from the link in Delux Magazine…welcome!  Here is a list of values to get you started on figuring out what is important to you. 

From the article:

A fun, albeit uncomfortable, exercise to determine your core values is to get a few sticky notes, 15-20 should work, and write one value one each.  It can be one word or anything that is important to you.  A piece of paper torn or cut into 20 pieces will work as well. 

Once you have your values laid out in front of you, take 10 and throw them away.  You can either look at them and make choices, or you can close your eyes and randomly select 10 to never see again.  Take a moment to stop and feel. Are you sad, angry, or maybe even relieved? Are you feeling anxious about losing something of value to you? Did you make the right choice?  Now take a look at your remaining 10 values and take 5 more away.  Did you lose your family or choose money over power? Is higher education really more important to you than family time?  Is your job balled up on the floor?  The remaining 5 values are your core values. 

Accountability Accuracy Achievement Adventurousness Altruism Ambition Assertiveness Balance Being the best Belonging Boldness Calmness Carefulness Challenge Cheerfulness Clear-mindedness Commitment Community Compassion Competitiveness Consistency Contentment Continuous Improvement Contribution Control Cooperation Correctness Courtesy Creativity Curiosity Decisiveness Democraticness Dependability Determination Devoutness Diligence Discipline Discretion Diversity Dynamism Economy Effectiveness Efficiency Elegance Empathy Enjoyment Enthusiasm Equality

Excellence Excitement Expertise Exploration Expressiveness Fairness Faith Family-orientedness Fidelity Fitness Fluency Focus Freedom Fun Generosity Goodness Grace Growth Happiness Hard Work Health Helping Society Holiness Honesty Honor Humility Independence Ingenuity Inner Harmony Inquisitiveness Insightfulness Intelligence Intellectual Status Intuition Joy Justice Leadership Legacy Love Loyalty Making a difference Mastery Merit Obedience Openness Order Originality Patriotism

Perfection Piety Positivity Practicality Preparedness Professionalism Prudence Quality-orientation Reliability Resourcefulness Restraint Results-oriented Rigor Security Self-actualization Self-control Selflessness Self-reliance Sensitivity Serenity Service Shrewdness Simplicity Soundness Speed Spontaneity Stability Strategic Strength Structure Success Support Teamwork Temperance Thankfulness Thoroughness Thoughtfulness Timeliness Tolerance Traditionalism Trustworthiness Truth-seeking Understanding Uniqueness Unity Usefulness Vision Vitality

List found on http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTED_85.htm

(For a much longer list of values, visit the following pages which I have always found helpful: http://www.stevepavlina.com/articles/list-of-values.htm or http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTED_85.htm or http://www.homelifesimplified.com.au/simplify-your-life-week-2-define-your-personal-values/ which is where the image is from)

Life Coach v. Counselor and more

A recent Facebook post as well as questions from several clients recently prompted this blog post.  It has been a long time since I posted…although I have about 20 drafts saved.  I have been doing more than procrastinating; I’ve been busy writing articles for Delux Magazine (article 1 & article 2) and Spoken Vizions Magazine! Check them out when you have a moment.

Anyway…on to the topic. The short version of what could become a long rant about the differences between what a Life Coach does and what Counselors, Social Workers, Psychologists, etc. do is this:

Professionals Counselors offer services that are a better fit for the vast majority of people.

Life coaches are not qualified to address issues of one’s past or any ongoing mental health issues such as anxiety or depression, or working through issues such as trauma, divorce, social concerns, personal issues, or grief.  I believe most people are affected, in some way, by issues that require more skill than a Life Coach can provide.

Here is my brief summary of what each of these professionals generally do, which is based on education, experience, and the 2008 article posted in Counseling Today:

Life Coaches work with clients to set and reach their goals related to life and/or work.  They offer support and hold clients accountable.

Social Workers (though some have clinical training) are generally trained to connect people to services and address human services issues on personal and community levels.

Psychologists work with individuals who struggle with mental health concerns.  They are trained to test and diagnose patients.

Psychiatrists are physicians who work from a medical model.  They most often prescribe medications for clients suffering from depression and severe disorders such as schizophrenia.

Counselors view clients as “stuck” versus “sick”.  We help people find healing from issues in their past and to achieve their goals for living a healthy life.  We sometimes help connect people to services as well as offer career, marriage, and family counseling.

A great quote from the article sums it up: “Therapy is about uncovering and recovering, while coaching is about discovering.”  In my practice, I do both.  I want clients to come to my office and we work through their concerns and address what is keeping them from living up to their potential.  In addition, my clients leave with a plan.  I want them to be empowered to make the necessary changes they desire in their life.  Each week, we work on what is holding you back, and how we can reach your goals.  I want clients to be mentally (& socially), physically, and spiritually balanced and we work in all these areas.

I hope this “short version” helps clarify what each of these valuable professionals do.  Let me know your thoughts!

Bonus material beautifully summarized courtesy of Wikipedia: 

*****************************This is waaaaaay more info than most people need but…mental health professionals work from Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM).  The DSM-IV organizes each psychiatric diagnosis into five dimensions (axes) relating to different aspects of disorder or disability:

Axis I: All diagnostic categories except mental retardation and personality disorder. Examples: depression, anxiety disorders, bipolar disorder, ADHD, autism spectrum disorders, anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, and schizophrenia. Counselors, Clinical Social Workers, Psychologists, and Psychiatrists address these issues.

Axis II: Personality disorders and mental retardation. Examples: paranoid, schizoid, borderline, antisocial, narcissistic, histrionic, avoidant, dependent, obsessive-compulsive personality disorders; and intellectual disabilities. Psychologists and Psychiatrists primarily address these issues however many Counselors and CLINICAL Social Workers are also trained to work with clients with some axis II diagnoses.

Axis III: General medical condition; acute medical conditions and physical disorders. Physicians address these issues.

Axis IV: Psychosocial and environmental factors contributing to the disorder. Counselors and Social Workers address these issues. (You would be paying a fortune to talk to a Psychiatrist about these issues!)

Axis V: Global Assessment of Functioning or Children's Global Assessment Scale for children and teens under the age of 18.*****************************