Parenting Teenagers

Parenting can be a very challenging job.  Your role is to grow healthy, productive, successful adults that you still have to love through their challenging toddler and teen years when they can sometimes seem unlovable.  One of my preferred parenting methods, Love & Logic®, perfectly addresses this conundrum and offers techniques that reduce parenting stress.

The basic concept of Love & Logic® is that tough life lessons are better learned in childhood when the stakes are minimal, and parents are there to guide and love children through the growing pains, with the idea that we learn and grow from doing not by being told or having everything done for us.  For example, you remind your child to pick up her bike and put it in the garage.  She fails to do so and the bike is stolen off the front lawn.  You hug her through her tears and let her know because she did not take care of her things, which you purchased, that she must repay you for the bike.  This is a great opportunity (after the emotions have eased) to teach her about consequences. Hopefully, she will learn to take care of her things, on the first request, and avoid a much more expensive lesson with her iPad or laptop.

Love & Logic® is also helpful for reducing the back and forth arguments with teens.  The ‘broken record’ technique can greatly reduce arguing with an unruly teenager.  No matter what your child says, repeat “I love you too much to argue” and they will have no one to argue with.  Once you state the family rule or directive, any further rebuttal should immediately be followed with, “I love you too much to argue”.  Use a loving, non-sarcastic tone, and remember don’t argue back!

There are many helpful tools available in the Love & Logic® books that I highly recommend to help raise smart and independent kids who are capable of making their own healthy choices.  If you would like more information, please reach out to me!