Thursday, August 21, 2014

Everyone is Tired

I am tired. Everyone I talk to is tired. None of us can sleep and our daily functioning is a struggle.

This week is the second week of the Ferguson protests after the murder of Michael Brown by a police officer. I have personally been involved in protests and helping the community on several occassions and it is physically draining. To add to that, the constant negativity on the news and social media, and the racism which seems to be on level 1000, is mentally draining.

As a counselor (and human), I worry when I hear my friends talk about their lack of sleep and increased stress levels.

Bear with me for a very concise biology/psychology lesson on STRESS...
Lets assume our bodies function best between a level 3 - 5 on a scale of 10.  When we get stressed, we go up to a max of 10. Stress is a release of chemicals by the brain which are designed to help regulate our bodies...get it back to a healthy 3 - 5 level. Too much or repeated stress means our bodies are producing lots of chemicals which makes our bodies essentially adjust to a higher level of "normalcy", say a 6 - 8. This mean our breaking point, level 10, is much closer. Our bodies respond with all sorts of physical and mental problems such as headaches, loss of good sleep, moodiness, stomach problems, weight gain, and more. If we do not learn to manage and lower our stress level, we can get up to a level 10 which manifests itself as angry outbursts, breakdowns, panic attacks, heart attaks, ulcers, rage and violence, and even death.

Personally my stress manifests itself as acne, sleeplessness, moodiness, exhaustion, and nausea and stomach problems. I don't have energy to exercise or work which creates a nasty cycle of weight gain, moodiness, depression, and then more stress.  I am on a level 6 most days and add in this Ferguson and racism issue and I am on an 8.  My fear is that many of you are as well. This is too close to 10 to be healthy. Are we all about to snap?!?!

So that I spare someone from getting cussed out, I need a refresher on stress relief so I thought I would share some tips with you as well.

1. Try meditation -- Meditation allows your mind to stop working so hard and just relax. Even a few minutes a day can do wonders for your mood.

2. Exercise -- A brisk 20 minute walk will release "happy" chemicals in your body. In addition, it can keep you healthy and maybe shrink your waist...which always makes me happy! Try walking, swimming, dancing, yoga, or weightlifting for a great workout and mood changer.

3. Remove the stressor -- Tired of the racist social media comments? Unplug. Tired of the negativty on the news? Unplug. Tired of your boss or kids? Take a break. It is okay to have mommy time out and it is NOT okay to have unused vacation or sick days. USE THEM!  If you hate your job, find a new one. If I have learned anything from recent events, it is that life is too short. Do not stay stuck in a job you hate or in an unhealthy relationship.

4. Eat well -- While comfort food gives us a few moments of joy, we all know the long-term effects of an unhealthy diet.  When under stress, make the focused effort to eat right. More vegetables, fruit, and real food, and less sugar and processed foods.

5. Enforce good sleep habits -- So I get that when you are stressed you can't sleep. Trust me, I KNOW!  It is crucial that we practice a healthy bedtime routine in order to get good sleep. No booze, food, electronics, or exercise too close to bedtime. And allow 8 hours a night during stressful times. If that means you go to bed at 9pm for a week, so be it.  And avoid sleeping meds; allow your body a chance to heal itself. *I will not take Benadryl, I will not take Benadryl...

6. Phone a friend -- Make sure your support system is checking on you. It is okay to need people and now is a great time. (Thanks A.M. and B.O. for being there for me!)

7. Practice balance -- Are you doing too much? Learn to say "no" or take a hiatus when needed. I have reduced my protest days and intensity because I need a break. No cussing out the riot police for this gal!  Take things slowly and make sure you allow for work, play, and quiet times everyday.

(Anyone who knows me knows I enjoy the occassional, small (lol) glass of wine, so why did I leave that out as a tip? Though there are some benefits to drinking wine, when under serious stress, alcohol tends to worsen problems such as restless sleep and increased displays of emotions (crying and stupid behavior ie drunk dialing or fearlessness). Under this level of stress, try to avoid excessive alcohol use. And cake.)

I will write more on each of these 7 tips soon but for the most part, you KNOW what to do already, you just need to DO IT!  Good luck destressing. Please comment or email me with thoughts, questions, or for individual counseling.

*This blog post, and all others, are not intended as medical advice or counseling. Don't even think about suing me!



Randomness: this picture makes me yawn everytime!

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Rise above

Rise Above
By: Karen Banks, M.Ed., PLPC
Owner/Therapist - Trinity Wellness, LLC
@TrinityWellSTL


Image from quotesvalley.com

This is an excerpt from an article I originally published in SpokenVizions Youth magazine.  For the full article, please subscribe!


Throughout our daily lives, we are often surrounded by media, especially music.  What influence does music have on you?  Does it inspire, either positively or otherwise, you to create beautiful poetry?  If a vast majority of popular music is misogynistic, hateful, celebrating drug use and careless sex, and encouraging killing each other, what influence does that have on your psyche and thus your creativity?

Think about these few words, subscribe and read the entire article, then write a comment and let's chat about your thoughts. I would love to hear from you!  If for some reason you cannot access the article, after an extended period of time, I will return to post the article in its entirety.

Karen

Inspiring creativity

Inspiring Your Creativity

By: Karen Banks, M.Ed., PLPC
Image credit: http://www.everythingetsy.com/2013/08/creative-workspace-inspiration-2/

This is an excerpt from an article I originally published in SpokenVizions Magazine.  For the full article, please subscribe!

Many an article has been written about ways to help with writer's block.  My goal here is to give you some concise information that will help you find your creativity at any time.  As a born procrastinator, I am often looking for ways to help me start writing and these tips help me weekly!
Physical space as an inspiration
Clutter
There are two camps in the clutter debate.  One says that clutter can be an unhealthy distraction.  If your desk looks like a bomb exploded, invest time to clean and organize so writing instruments and notebooks are within reach.  The opposing side (as stated in an article published by the American Psychological Association in fact) has a few studies to the contrary: "working in a messy room seems to help them try new things and come up with creative ideas". 
Mental considerations
Sounds
Like color, music and sound play an important role in our mood and creativity.  Don't judge me, but my current favorite hype song is Turn Down for What.  When under pressure or feeling stuck, blasting rap music can be a great motivator to get down to business.   On the opposite end of the spectrum, a bit of smooth jazz or gospel can take you to a completely different, more peaceful place.  Keep Pandora or an iPod within reach to be able to adjust your tunes as necessary.  If sound or music is a distraction while you are being creative, noise cancelling headphones or white noise such as a ceiling fan, might be your recipe for success.
Other considerations
~ When you find yourself experiencing a creative block, stop working!  Take some time to do some quick exercises or an invigorating yoga sequence.  If you're anything like me, a nap will recharge your brain and possibly prepare you to get back to being creative.
I would love to hear from you if you found these tips helpful.  Tweet me @TrinityWellSTL or if you are feeling brave, post a picture of your workspace on Instagram #creativityhappenshere and tag me @Karen79ig and @spokenvizions.

Let's talk about sex!



This is an excerpt from an article I originally published in SpokenVizions Magazine.  For the full article, please subscribe!


Let's Talk About Sex!

By: Karen Banks, M.Ed., PLPC, Owner of Trinity Wellness, LLC
When I work with my adult clients, the topic of sex usually comes up after a few awkward attempts to approach the subject.  It is unfortunate that sex is sometimes a taboo topic because there are a variety of health benefits to getting your freak on.  Read on for 7 easy tips...then go and practice!
#1 - Sex makes you sleepy; sleep is essential for good health; therefore sex is essential for good health!
Sexual activity releases several chemicals, oxytocin and prolactin, which can help you get to sleep more quickly after a romp in the sheets.
#2 - The more sex you have, the more you'll want!
Having sex increases your libido so do it again, and again, and again, and...you get my point.
#3 - Sharing intimate time with your partner can improve your relationship and communication.

Don't forget to subscribe to read the full article.  Even better, call me or email me for a counseling session if SEX is what is troubling you.


Take care Readers,
Karen

What are your values?


What are your Values?

Karen Banks, M.Ed. PLPC
Full article published in Delux Magazine August/September 2014

Hello Readers!

Sorry for the hiatus but I am back and have lots to write about.  I have been writing for 3 magazines (Delux Magazine, SpokenVizions, and SpokenVizions Youth)which I strongly encourage all of you to subscribe to and enjoy.  I think you will find the information helpful.  I will be publishing parts of each article here on my blog.

If you are here from the link in Delux Magazine…welcome!  Here is a list of values to get you started on figuring out what is important to you. 

From the article:
A fun, albeit uncomfortable, exercise to determine your core values is to get a few sticky notes, 15-20 should work, and write one value one each.  It can be one word or anything that is important to you.  A piece of paper torn or cut into 20 pieces will work as well. 
Once you have your values laid out in front of you, take 10 and throw them away.  You can either look at them and make choices, or you can close your eyes and randomly select 10 to never see again.  Take a moment to stop and feel. Are you sad, angry, or maybe even relieved? Are you feeling anxious about losing something of value to you? Did you make the right choice?  Now take a look at your remaining 10 values and take 5 more away.  Did you lose your family or choose money over power? Is higher education really more important to you than family time?  Is your job balled up on the floor?  The remaining 5 values are your core values. 


Accountability
Accuracy
Achievement
Adventurousness
Altruism
Ambition
Assertiveness
Balance
Being the best
Belonging
Boldness
Calmness
Carefulness
Challenge
Cheerfulness
Clear-mindedness
Commitment
Community
Compassion
Competitiveness
Consistency
Contentment
Continuous Improvement
Contribution
Control
Cooperation
Correctness
Courtesy
Creativity
Curiosity
Decisiveness
Democraticness
Dependability
Determination
Devoutness
Diligence
Discipline
Discretion
Diversity
Dynamism
Economy
Effectiveness
Efficiency
Elegance
Empathy
Enjoyment
Enthusiasm
Equality
Excellence
Excitement
Expertise
Exploration
Expressiveness
Fairness
Faith
Family-orientedness
Fidelity
Fitness
Fluency
Focus
Freedom
Fun
Generosity
Goodness
Grace
Growth
Happiness
Hard Work
Health
Helping Society
Holiness
Honesty
Honor
Humility
Independence
Ingenuity
Inner Harmony
Inquisitiveness
Insightfulness
Intelligence
Intellectual Status
Intuition
Joy
Justice
Leadership
Legacy
Love
Loyalty
Making a difference
Mastery
Merit
Obedience
Openness
Order
Originality
Patriotism
Perfection
Piety
Positivity
Practicality
Preparedness
Professionalism
Prudence
Quality-orientation
Reliability
Resourcefulness
Restraint
Results-oriented
Rigor
Security
Self-actualization
Self-control
Selflessness
Self-reliance
Sensitivity
Serenity
Service
Shrewdness
Simplicity
Soundness
Speed
Spontaneity
Stability
Strategic
Strength
Structure
Success
Support
Teamwork
Temperance
Thankfulness
Thoroughness
Thoughtfulness
Timeliness
Tolerance
Traditionalism
Trustworthiness
Truth-seeking
Understanding
Uniqueness
Unity
Usefulness
Vision
Vitality


(For a much longer list of values, visit the following pages which I have always found helpful: http://www.stevepavlina.com/articles/list-of-values.htm or http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTED_85.htm or http://www.homelifesimplified.com.au/simplify-your-life-week-2-define-your-personal-values/ which is where the image is from)




Friday, January 31, 2014

Trading Habits

As I wrestle with learning to create new, healthier habits, I wanted to write to share my experiences and maybe gain some insight from my huge list of readers (crickets...).  It is still January (if I can post this in the next 45 minutes) and I know many of us are struggling with making our New Year's resolutions stick...like to blog twice monthly!  Tell me what has been working for you, or not working, in terms of accomplishing your resolutions thus far.

A habit is defined as "a fixed way of thinking, willing, or feeling" and "the process by which new behaviors become automatic is habit formation" and finally the most important point about habits "old habits are hard to break and new habits are hard to form because the behavioral patterns we repeat are imprinted in our neural pathways, but it is possible to form new habits through repetition".  Basically, we have made our habits semi-permanent.  This is kind of a scary thing...unless we focus on creating better habits.

I recently spent a bunch of time working with clients on SMART goals (specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, time-bound) as a way to make their New Year's resolutions more concrete.  They were given worksheets like the image below to help them break each goal down into steps.  Email me/comment for the simple form.



Some other steps to help break old habits and form better ones should include making sure you want to change.  If you are honest, do you really WANT to stop smoking or eating junk?  More importantly, are you READY to make the changes? Only make efforts to change the things that you desire to see changed.  If you can't be honest with yourself, how committed and successful will you become?

As any therapist will tell you, find out the reason for your bad habits.  Are you biting your nails or cursing out of nervousness or anxiety?  Once you can get an understanding of the cause of the problem, maybe you can fix it.

Remember to always include your support system on your goals.  They are here to help.  Are they still encouraging you to maintain those resolutions?  Good, then fill them in on your new and improved SMART goals and ask them to hold you accountable.

Finally, to achieve those goals, stay strong in the fight to change your habits and believe you can do better.  Believing in your success sometimes feels like half the battle.  For additional support, please contact me

What are your habits? Nail biting, smoking, risky sex, cursing, tardiness?  I encourage you to set your sights (and habits) on forming new habits like exercise, positive self-talk, better eating,or whatever it is you desire.  Good luck; I'm running this race right beside you.

Thanks to psychologytoday.com for some insight.

Friday, January 3, 2014

What Will You Create in 2014?

Happy New Year! I hope all of you have been blessed these first two days of 2014 and that it will only get better!

This new year, like many others, I began a daily affirmation type book. While this one is focused on financial freedom, there are so many books available that help us take baby steps; one day at a time. January is a great time to start one, hint hint.

In the introduction of The Wealthy Spirit, author Chellie Campbell says, " consciously or unconsciously, we create our lives. We create them out of our thoughts, attitudes, beliefs, and feelings, and the choices we make from them. Our life story is the sum total of our decisions".

This is a powerful statement. Did you know that YOU had so much power and control?! While I could (will) write a whole other blog on that, I wanted to make this a short one to simply encourage you to CREATE YOUR STORY. A new year is a new beginning and a chance for you to create your life story.  Over this year, let's learn to change our old, negative thoughts and attitudes into beautiful words of encouragement which foster positive self beliefs, so that the story we create becomes a happy, peaceful, successful one.

Wishing you many blessings for a successful 2014.

Don't forget to check out my regular columns in Delux Magazine (www.delux-mag.com) and SpokenVizions magazine (www.spokenvizions.com).